01. Gratitude Circle with Evan Ortiz

Meditating on Life Force

Calling All Writers: I've started a new community series called THE GRATITUDE CIRCLE. Once a month, I'll feature folks in this community who want to share their stories of gratitude and life lessons. I welcome anyone who writes to submit. This offering aims to build community and share my platform with fellow writers, truth-tellers, and everyone else in between who has something to say and share. I’m looking forward to sharing this space with you.

To learn more about how to submit, please refer to this link. 

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To kick off this series, our first submission comes from Evan. His piece is called Dissection of a Heart. Reading Evan's words gave me pause in the best way. His words invite us to be courageous and curious about life on a granular level. I walked away from this essay with these questions at the top of my mind: What makes us—us? What makes a heart really beat?

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Dissection of a Heart / Meditating on Life Force / By Evan Ortiz

A few years ago, I had an ultrasound taken of my heart. I remember being brought to tears at the visual: the valves, opening and closing. I haven't been the same since that appointment. It led me to reflect deeply on my body. I am thinking about the composition of life force. Tell me, what nourishes the heart besides nutrition? I'm curious about courage. 

The origin of that word means to tell the story of who you are wholefully. There have been a number of experiences where I received healing because I decided to share myself openly and vulnerably. I would then experience a warming inside my chest beyond measure.

And what about passion? I imagine this as fire or even lightning. You know the feeling of riding a rollercoaster and the exhilaration that comes from the first drop? It hits my spleen that way. I visualize myself being captured by these vibrations that energize me to do more, see more, be more.

Then there's also grief. Heartbreak. And this is tough because when this happens, it gives the impression that this beautiful organ might actually shatter. I experience grief daily. I feel pressure from its blood-filled chambers, mourning from crisis, abuse, and rejection. I feel the nature of today's world tugging it down. It's heavy, complicated, and not always solutionable. However, these feelings are necessary. They remind me of the fullness of life and, hopefully, its potential to rebound.

These rich, varied parts teach me that what these qualities merge into is strength.

The strength to practice joy, to grieve, to hope, and yearn in a whirling of emotion that captivates the senses and blossoms my soul.

Sometimes I'm in awe when I think I've hit rock bottom or things are as good as it gets because that is where my heart is reactivated, stretching me to new planes of existence that color my world beyond my wildest dreams.

The heart will always fascinate me. It is a gift to be a student of its beating fibers. To meditate on its pulse is to be present with a mystery that makes me aware of something very material, very real, yet a force beyond me, beyond what I could ever comprehend.

I'm going to take a minute now to sit here with it. A quiet, continuous thumping. Pumping me with love, pumping me with life.

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Bio:
Evan Ortiz is a heart-centered storyteller and a thoughtful, playful, kind soul located in Brooklyn, NY. His journey calls him to offer experience, strength, and hope. Evan finds it deeply healing when he encounters language, which is able to penetrate into a layer of his subconscious.

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