Gratitude for Boundaries

Letting go is hard but holding on when you're losing yourself is harder.

“Balance” and boundaries around work have been so hard for me. I love my career, but I lost my footing when taking breaks from work became non-existent. I felt like a machine ready to break down at any moment. In 2021, for the first time in almost two years, I'd cleared my calendar and was "slow to respond" during the tail end of the year. I vowed to not taking on any new work or collaborations because my boundaries had become blurry from "squeezing" things in and constantly saying, "I can make that work” when I knew damn well I couldn’t.

Burn out set in.

My creativity vanished.

Fatigue from the things I loved so much started to emerge.

Gratitude felt fleeting.

I’d become off-center, on edge, and unhappy.

When I took a step back and started being honest with myself, all I had to show for the work I said I loved was overcommitment, feeling drained from not wanting to do the things I squeezed in, and being burnout. Clearing my calendar and deciding not to take on any new work made me feel relieved almost instantly. I thought I'd feel more nervous and guilty, but instead, gratefulness washed over me. It's interesting to see what feelings come up when we set and honor the healthy boundaries we put into place. Boundaries are vital for emotional rest and freedom.

As an entrepreneur, I got hung up on loving my work so much that I convinced myself that I didn't need any days off. I’m the first to tell folks now that NO DAYS OFF is toxic. Rest. Working for myself and being passionate about my job isn't an excuse to overwork to the point of depletion. I had to get real with myself and ask if I was working a 9 to 5 for someone else, would this be okay with me? And the answer was no. Boundaries aren't just for others to follow; they're also for us.

I feel freer today than I have in a very long time. After sitting with the choice to take much-needed time off, there was a sense of freedom and bravery that emerged. I felt hopeful about tapping into my creativity again so I could get HOW WE HEAL finished. I felt grateful that I made a promise to myself to honor those boundaries and find new ways to rest and relate to myself and work.

During that time in my life, I vowed to become more clear-minded and welcome presence into my life in a very intimate way. Since then, I’ve been committed to not feeling rushed and chaotic when it comes to work and life and harmonizing the two. I am always getting reacquainted with being open to possibility and wonder. As I lean deeper into the truth of who I am, I plan on staying close to who and what creates goodness, comfort, and flexibility in my life. No more self-sacrificing in the name of "I love my work." I can love my job and rest, too.

I want to live a life that feels nourishing to both my mind and body. I want how I move through the world to be an example to others in an intentional way. Uncovering gratitude through my lack of boundaries was eye-opening. Restoration and re-centering is sacred. Getting back on track, after getting off is humbling and rewarding for me. It reminds me that I know myself and I can trust myself enough to re-route.

I know that letting go of what we are so used to is hard—but something I’ve learned is that: holding on when you're misaligned and losing yourself is harder.

Community (leave a comment): What are you learning about gratitude and accountability?