Gratitude for Commitment
I am grateful that I'm no longer leaving myself at the bottom of my list.
I've been walking daily for 55 days straight as of today. It's been such a test of the self-commitment I made on September 19th, 2021. The mantra " Move your body and get clear" has been on rotation in my mind more so than ever as I approach 60 days of this practice. On day 53 (11/11), I almost broke my streak. I'd been traveling all day, and I was exhausted. Girl, you've been walking every single day for 52 days. It's fine to miss a day, I thought to myself.
The morning of the 11th, I had to pack and get things in order before my flight. My morning walk was put off for later in the day—bad idea. If I've learned anything on this journey, it's to walk when thoughts of walking strike. I figured I'd do an evening walk instead when I got to Asheville. What I didn't consider was daylights savings time and how dark and cold it would be. On my flight, I was in my head about walking or not walking. I went back and forth about why I shouldn't.
The list was long:
You didn't bring the right shoes.
You forgot your hat.
Your head will be cold.
You need to eat.
Damn, no scarf.
You're so tired.
You deserve a break.
You've done enough. We get it—you like to walk.
Day 52 was a long one, so really, you're even.
You'll only regret it for a little while.
You can just start over tomorrow.
This list grew and grew, but I couldn't talk myself out of it. None of those excuses made sense enough to break my 53-day streak. Not being able to find a reason was reason enough for me to keep going.
When I got to Asheville, it was rainy, dark, and cold. I sighed and went to get my rental car. Out of nowhere, the most painful migraine of my life hit. When I got in the car, I started sobbing. I was having a tough night, to say the least, on top of the fact that it was nearing 8 PM and I still hadn't walked.
I mustered up the strength to take some ibuprofen, grab a snack, and head to meet my friend who was joining me for the weekend. When she got in the car, I immediately said: Hi, I still need to walk.
She smiled and said, OK, I'll walk with you.
We ended up finding a cute neighborhood to stroll in. I didn't do my full mile, but I was OK with that. I still walked and made it to day 53.
It absolutely would've been easier to skip that walk. There were so many curve balls thrown at me as permission to forfeit. Deciding to walk anyway, even if it wasn't in the morning or a full mile, showed me that I've come a long way in staying close to the promises I've made to myself. Not taking the easy way out and not getting defeated is a testament to my growth. Walking is so much more to me than something I do every day now. It's proof that I honor myself enough to do it even on the days that don't go as planned.
Walking, for me, is an act of self-prioritization. I am grateful that I'm no longer leaving myself at the bottom of my list.
My headache subsided, the cold air felt good on my face, my friend and I stopped and listened to the weeping willow tree dance in the wind, and I felt so good that I went.
Being on day 55 today makes me feel proud. I'm keeping this promise to myself no matter what—even if that means I learn to shift and adjust my plans along the way.
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Want to see my documented morning walks? Head over to my Instagram hereere and watch the highlights titled with "walk."
Read an earlier reflection on my walks here.