Healing: The New Inheritance

Thinking and reflecting on my journey

Alex Elle in Aliya Wanek, Taken by Sierra Lynn Photo

My 34th birthday is on July 25th. Every year between May and the end of July, I feel very tender and emotionally all over the place. I do a lot of thinking and reflecting on my journey. It's been a long and messy road, but I am grateful that the older I get, the more it smooths out. As my birthday approaches, I offer myself grace as I hold the beauty and tenderness of grief and gratitude.

Many of you might know my story already. I had my first child at 18. I was in the depths of self-hatred, fear, and not knowing what I had gotten myself into. My daughter changed my life and kick-started my healing journey. I didn't just want to be better for her, but also for me. She will be 16 at the end of this year, and I am proud to say that I see generational healing embodied when I look at her. I often think about how much better she is than I was at her age. And for me, THAT is the proof. Generations are supposed to get better with time. I broke the first chain, and my three daughters are breaking the rest. It fills my heart with so much joy.

My good sis, Lalah Delia, said: Healing is the new inheritance.

And I couldn't agree more.

The healing journey that we embark on creates generational wealth.

Mama’s big baby.

I don't know who needs to read this today, but: You can be the first in your lineage to heal and pass down healing and joy to those around you. Once upon a time, that felt so impossible for me. I hope that when you read this, you know you are capable and your healing is possible. I hope you feel less alone and a little more optimistic about breaking cycles and centering joy. I know what it's like to feel like you will be stuck in the depths of pain, unworthiness, self-hatred, and sadness forever. But I am also here to tell you that trauma is not your resting place. You can rise.

Even on the days that are hard as hell.

Even on the days that you feel lost.

Even on the days that you're mad that you have to be the one leading the way.

If no one has told you lately, you are doing good and intentional work—and this is how we heal. Baby steps take us where we need to go. You don't have to tackle the journey all at once. You are allowed to be unsure. To take things slow. To get lost and find your way back again and again.

Grateful.

We won't always get it right. Sometimes our failures are blessings in disguise. Don't hate yourself for failing, getting it wrong, or having to heal from the same thing more than once. Self-hatred isn't fertile ground for your healing. Your past was practice. You can change and grow and live a life filled with love, even if no one taught you how. Even if the people in your life refuse to heal with you, we can rewrite our narrative, lead the way, and create a new way for those who come after us.

Our testimony of healing and self-love will set the generations to come free. When we heal ourselves, we heal our lineage. There is so much beauty in that, even when we want to quit.

Community Questions (reply to this email):

1. What has your past taught you about growth and self-forgiveness?

2. How do you want to hand down healing?

3. How do you find joy as you’re healing the tender parts of yourself?

PS. Paid Subscriber community, I have something special in store for us below.