Lessons are Blessings

I know what I like, I know what I don't want

Alex Elle, 34, by Birch Thomas

Last Tuesday was my birthday. On July 25, 1989, I was ushered into the world at 10:37 PM eastern standard time. A week into being 34, I am feeling more grounded than ever. More easeful and connected to myself and my truth. I've also been less concerned about things that do not matter in the long run. I don't want it if it's unhealthy, unloving, one-sided, or unkind. Now more than ever, I am in a rooted place of peace.

Honestly, it feels like I'm at a point where I'm committed to getting my emotional and energetic affairs in order.

Over the past year, I've deepened the relationships and connections that make me feel safe. I've let go of people, places, and things that create disorientation and chaos in my life. And I am continuously exploring what a healthy relationship with myself looks and feels like. There have been lessons embedded in everything that comes to the surface when I reflect. Each one has blessed me deeply.

Last week, something clicked in a big way. I woke up daily with the phrases, You know what you like, and You know what you want ringing loudly in my ear. It became outstandingly clear that there are certain things that I'm just not willing to do anymore. There's certain energy I am no longer entertaining, and there are relationships in my life that I will be nurturing even more than before— there are also a few that I will be dissolving.

Ease in my spirit is the intention. Chaos and confusion are not mine to hold.

Alex Elle, 34, by Birch Thomas

The other day, I did a journaling practice to prepare my energy for August. I teach variations of this exercise to my students and clients. We draw some circles inside of circles and identify what we want to welcome into our space (or keep out).

I welcome joy, happiness, strength, and freedom this season.

Sitting down with my journal, I thought about everything I wanted to bring into my space. I looked up the meanings of certain colors and had fun doodling and using my crayons. As I drew, wrote, and colored, I thought about how grateful I am to be where I am now. I am so thankful for who I've chosen to stay close to and vice versa. There are no strings attached in any of my relationships right now. There is no guessing my place in anyone’s life. That feels so good to my spirit. I have endless gratitude for the healing I've chosen to do so that I can live a life that makes me feel liberated, loved, and clear-minded. 

Words cannot describe how ready I am to lean deeper into who I'm meant to be this year. My lessons have been blessings. My past has been practice.

The older I get, the more grateful I am for every path I've walked, every stumble I've made, every relationship that has ended, and every new beginning birthed from loss.

There's beauty in it all. There's peace in it, too. I'm grateful to be here to experience the good and challenging moments life offers. Now more than ever, I feel well-equipped to keep growing through the things I go through.

Alex Elle, 34, by Birch Thomas

Community question (leave a comment): What are y'all welcoming and releasing as we move through August?

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Don’t forget to join me, Julia Cameron, Anne Lamott, and more at an amazing writing retreat. Details are below.