Last night, I shared on this Instagram post that over 28k people unfollowed me this month alone. After that post, even more, folks clicked unfollow. Both are fine with me.
Let me tell you why: Instagram is not my job—writing and teaching is.
For months now, my account has fluctuated between 1.5M and 1.6M. I've had huge spikes and huge dips. In both instances, nothing in my real life has changed.
My family is happy.
My finances are healthy.
My bills are paid.
My books are selling.
My heart is full.
My body is limber.
My community is cared for.
The things that matter in my life are in full flow, and I am grateful for that. That is what matters most to me.
I'm sharing this because after reading through all the comments folks left, it's clear that social media and its algorithms can trick us into thinking that our art, writing, craft, and creativity suck if we aren't getting validation from likes, follows, and comments. And if we start thinking, "My art sucks," we can become distracted and drained by something I call performative posting (producing and sharing and hoping something sticks) and negative self-talk (no one cares, no one likes me, my writing sucks, I'm not pretty enough, etc.) If we allow social media to have that type of power over us and what we're making, we are doing ourselves, our "audience," and our craft a disservice.
There are so many moving parts, too, that we have to remember:
The bots and spam accounts are very real. They get wiped out every so often.
Most of your audience may not see your posts. (Fun Fact: When I share on IG, my posts only get shown to 10% of my audience. The other 90% are going to people who do not follow me.
Lots of folks are tired of IG and are deactivating their pages.
People do not have to follow if they don't want to anymore.
I've been spending a lot less time on Instagram, so I am not surprised that the "numbers" reflected a deficit.
If you aren't feeding the algorithm, it will deprioritize you. I rather be deprioritized on social media than in my real life. Just saying...
Earlier this month, I set very clear intentions about where I wanted my energy to go. Instagram wasn't on that list. I called in ease, creativity, movement, and community, all of which have felt abundant and life-giving. I've been taking more photos, going to yoga, writing just for me, being with my family, tending to my garden, going on long walks, making body care stuff for fun, and living in the present.
It's felt so damn good. And if that costs me 28k unfollows, I'll gladly take it.
Not creating consistent content to feed the belly of Instagram creates a lot more space for us to be in an authentic flow state. When we are constantly making and doing, we exhaust ourselves. Creativity, just for the sake of personal joy practice, is important. Every piece of art you make isn't for the algorithm or an audience. Give yourself permission to untether.
I told my friend the other day I just want to write books, be with my family, start my tea company, and have a couple of writing retreats every year. I do not want to be on any social media at all.
Unfortunately, my agents and publishers are not too keen on that idea.
I often wonder what will happen in 30 years. Will they tell me, at 64, to post my book on Instagram? You need more likes!
LOL, like what?
The thought of that just sounds silly.
My point is, when will this end if we don't end it?
I'm in my protect my craft and mental well-being at all costs era.
I don't want to be depleted and trying to write a book—and I won't be. I refuse.
For folks using social media to reach new audiences and share their work, do not get caught up in the hype. Creating and connecting in the real world is where true fulfillment comes from. Your impact as a writer, artist, photographer, maker, etc., is valuable. Period.
Something that I had to remind myself of early on is that Instagram is not my profession. Being an author is. I know how fortunate I am that my career doesn't depend on social media. But I know so many people who feel like theirs does, especially authors. It is beyond frustrating to witness some of my colleagues get rejected because "they don't have enough followers" yet. Many publishers and agents will say, without shame, "Come back to us when you have over 10k followers," regardless of how good your book might be. They won't even consider looking at someone's proposal. That is disheartening and discouraging. It perpetuates this idea that we are only as valuable as our external validation, which is a lie. So many amazing writers have been pushed aside because they don't have the numbers on Instagram.
I am so grateful for platforms like
, who prioritize writers in this world of "We don't care how good your book is or how passionate you are about your craft—how many people follow you?"So for anyone feeling discouraged or doubtful about your craft, I'm here to tell you this:
Your art matters...
with or without a "large" following.
even when people unfollow you.
even when folks unsubscribe from your email list.
even when you're rejected because you don't have "enough followers."
Don't let this B.S. game of numbers trick you. Keep writing. Keep making art. Keep being authentic. You are not a content machine—and you do not have to be.
Some folks will stay, and some folks will go. With or without social media, you're worthy. Everything you create isn't for Instagram. Everything isn't for everyone—let them leave. Do not take their departure personally. It's probably not.
Saving this to read again and again. So true and so wise. Thank you, Alex! 🤍
I needed this. I should probably read it every day! Thank you 💛