There's a line in India Arie's song "The Truth" that says: " If he ever left me, I wouldn't even be sad.
'Cause there's a blessing in every lesson. And I'm glad that I knew him at all". The line from that song is comforting. I also recently ended a friendship and the way I find peace with missing the person or missing the connection is by speaking over myself "I am glad to have known them at all". Their presence blessed my journey- even if it was just for a season.
This is soo timely. Before Christmas I parted ways with a close friend that I had such a strong bond with but we were on totally different paths and it felt like a one sided friendship so it was definitely time to part ways. But because of our closeness I questioned whether I moved in haste but your confirmation that we are allowed to miss them but not rekindle is a great ease to my heart. Thank you for your kind spirit and your wisdom in your new book Alex , it has brought me soo much peace and a sense of bravery to face my fears and begin again ❤️
Perfect timing. I knew a love that was set to last forever, but our time dissolved. This has been the hardest breakup of my life. The pain was so intense, I cried myself to sleep most nights. This wasn’t typical of me. I battled my feelings for the past few months, trying to hold on to that which was complete. I appreciated this read. I now have a new vocabulary around heartache. I completed a relationship. Thank you 💕
"abandoning ourselves and values to win others over isn't supportive or authentic to us individually or the relationship as a whole."
I love this line. I've found that once I clearly identified my values and made an intention to show up authentically I had a magic rubric to measure my interactions and decisions against. While it certainly doesn't take the hurt or anxiety out of choosing growth, it certainly lessens the sting.
I needed this today! I recently stepped away from a friendship of over 20yrs. I definitely went through the inner turmoil about it, the guilt and doubt roller-coaster that goes with it But I love the fact that you reminded me that it is ok to grieve and miss them but also be grateful for the release. The current season I am in has showed me that I can be working on me, yet abundantly love myself simultaneously, it's not an either/or thing.
Thank you for this post. I'm grieving a broken relationship with my daughter. This brings me an opportunity to look at the separation or end of the relationship with less pain. I'm beginning to feel happy for the time she was a part of my life and more comfortable knowing she needs to be on her own right now. If we can reconnect, I'll be thrilled but I can handle it a little easier. Mind you, it's taken almost 5 years to reach this moment and I know my feelings are fluid but I am a bit more peaceful for now.
So on time. Learning to embrace "knowing when". So important to know when to hold on and when to release. Important to allow yourself to mourn an ending and simultaneously express gratitude for the experience of what was, while embracing the newness of what is to come. Give up to Gain.
A year of grief, healing and growing following a break-up. Gratitude to my love for the blessings he brought to my life. Letting go has been a process, messy and beautiful, but love for him, and more importantly for myself supports me moving forward into the next chapter.
I need/desire a genuine circle. From 2019-2022 my circle has completely dissolved and I didn’t fight for any relationship to remain. I let them go. Of course I think about certain great moments we shared but I am at peace with everything and excited to some day be amongst those who I can truly say are my people.
As I shift into a new season I like deep solitude. For this one in particular I am taking a break from hanging out, dates, social media and over working. I find that it helps me listen to what it is that I am wanting as well as what this new season is calling me to be. I am extremely grateful to enjoy being alone ( I really love it lol).
This was right on time and I'm grateful for good reads as such! I don't want to feel guilty for parting ways with someone or people whom I either love(d) or care(d) for. My feelings are valid and I want peace in my life. I am finally showing up for myself without guilt. Ty Alex!
Letting go and grieving a relationship that once was is never easy. The bravery of letting go is commendable. I love that I can now say that I completed a relationship. It feels good. I also remind myself that nothing good leaves without something better coming, so if I enjoyed that I can only imagine what’s next to come. I am worthy and deserving of love and relationships that FEEL GOOD, that’s my right. Anything that compromises my sanity, happiness, etc can’t exist.
Thank you so much!! I am currently reading your book, and every word nurture my scars and redefine my fears, allowing me to understand myself better. The way you sound when I read your book or post is like this super strong, confident and kind inner voice, a great example to all that never talk to themselves with kindness. I was always feeling guilty about leaving family, friends or relationships because I though they defined my value. Until recently I have felt the huge difference in having distance from the people that sucks our energy or happiness, or just are not committed anymore to the friendship, It feels great! Thanks for writing about this!
There's a line in India Arie's song "The Truth" that says: " If he ever left me, I wouldn't even be sad.
'Cause there's a blessing in every lesson. And I'm glad that I knew him at all". The line from that song is comforting. I also recently ended a friendship and the way I find peace with missing the person or missing the connection is by speaking over myself "I am glad to have known them at all". Their presence blessed my journey- even if it was just for a season.
This is soo timely. Before Christmas I parted ways with a close friend that I had such a strong bond with but we were on totally different paths and it felt like a one sided friendship so it was definitely time to part ways. But because of our closeness I questioned whether I moved in haste but your confirmation that we are allowed to miss them but not rekindle is a great ease to my heart. Thank you for your kind spirit and your wisdom in your new book Alex , it has brought me soo much peace and a sense of bravery to face my fears and begin again ❤️
Perfect timing. I knew a love that was set to last forever, but our time dissolved. This has been the hardest breakup of my life. The pain was so intense, I cried myself to sleep most nights. This wasn’t typical of me. I battled my feelings for the past few months, trying to hold on to that which was complete. I appreciated this read. I now have a new vocabulary around heartache. I completed a relationship. Thank you 💕
"abandoning ourselves and values to win others over isn't supportive or authentic to us individually or the relationship as a whole."
I love this line. I've found that once I clearly identified my values and made an intention to show up authentically I had a magic rubric to measure my interactions and decisions against. While it certainly doesn't take the hurt or anxiety out of choosing growth, it certainly lessens the sting.
A wonderful and compassionate piece, much for grateful reflection. Thank you 🙏🏻💛
Alex, Your words seem to arise from a place of deep understanding. Good for you! D
I needed this today! I recently stepped away from a friendship of over 20yrs. I definitely went through the inner turmoil about it, the guilt and doubt roller-coaster that goes with it But I love the fact that you reminded me that it is ok to grieve and miss them but also be grateful for the release. The current season I am in has showed me that I can be working on me, yet abundantly love myself simultaneously, it's not an either/or thing.
Thank you for this post. I'm grieving a broken relationship with my daughter. This brings me an opportunity to look at the separation or end of the relationship with less pain. I'm beginning to feel happy for the time she was a part of my life and more comfortable knowing she needs to be on her own right now. If we can reconnect, I'll be thrilled but I can handle it a little easier. Mind you, it's taken almost 5 years to reach this moment and I know my feelings are fluid but I am a bit more peaceful for now.
So on time. Learning to embrace "knowing when". So important to know when to hold on and when to release. Important to allow yourself to mourn an ending and simultaneously express gratitude for the experience of what was, while embracing the newness of what is to come. Give up to Gain.
A year of grief, healing and growing following a break-up. Gratitude to my love for the blessings he brought to my life. Letting go has been a process, messy and beautiful, but love for him, and more importantly for myself supports me moving forward into the next chapter.
I need/desire a genuine circle. From 2019-2022 my circle has completely dissolved and I didn’t fight for any relationship to remain. I let them go. Of course I think about certain great moments we shared but I am at peace with everything and excited to some day be amongst those who I can truly say are my people.
As I shift into a new season I like deep solitude. For this one in particular I am taking a break from hanging out, dates, social media and over working. I find that it helps me listen to what it is that I am wanting as well as what this new season is calling me to be. I am extremely grateful to enjoy being alone ( I really love it lol).
This was right on time and I'm grateful for good reads as such! I don't want to feel guilty for parting ways with someone or people whom I either love(d) or care(d) for. My feelings are valid and I want peace in my life. I am finally showing up for myself without guilt. Ty Alex!
Grateful for this, Alex!
Letting go and grieving a relationship that once was is never easy. The bravery of letting go is commendable. I love that I can now say that I completed a relationship. It feels good. I also remind myself that nothing good leaves without something better coming, so if I enjoyed that I can only imagine what’s next to come. I am worthy and deserving of love and relationships that FEEL GOOD, that’s my right. Anything that compromises my sanity, happiness, etc can’t exist.
A beautiful and sensitive piece of writing.
Thank you so much!! I am currently reading your book, and every word nurture my scars and redefine my fears, allowing me to understand myself better. The way you sound when I read your book or post is like this super strong, confident and kind inner voice, a great example to all that never talk to themselves with kindness. I was always feeling guilty about leaving family, friends or relationships because I though they defined my value. Until recently I have felt the huge difference in having distance from the people that sucks our energy or happiness, or just are not committed anymore to the friendship, It feels great! Thanks for writing about this!