The Sacred Act of Self-Belief

Uncovering internal validation was a pain point in my growth.

Hi everyone! Before diving into this post, I have three thangs I want to share.

1. If you are in Minneapolis on May 4th, come hang with me at The Lyn Hall for a special and intimate HOW WE HEAL event. Tickets are here. I am excited to see you all.

2. My affirmation card deck is FINALLY available for pre-order. I’ll be sharing pics of the beautiful cards throughout this essay. You can pre-order here.

3. Registration for cohort 2 of my Healing Together small group coaching opens May 7th. You can learn more here and get on the waitlist.

“Sensitive” Sweatshirt from Emotional Support Co.

Something I'm constantly reflecting on recently has been the power of self-belief. I've learned a lot about taking a chance on myself when those around me weren't able to or didn't want to. Uncovering internal validation was a pain point in my growth. I was someone who longed for external validation—and external validation alone. If I didn't have it, I'd second guess myself and not move forward, or I'd start, be overcome by self-doubt, and quit. That began to change when I learned that supporting and believing in myself was just as valuable as the support of outsiders. Self-trust is important.

As someone who grew up feeling like they had no say, no voice, and no way out, trusting myself felt foreign. It was scary as hell. But I had to learn to ask myself what’s scarier—exploring what it feels like to trust myself or staying stuck in a place that kept me small and reliant on outsiders’ opinions.

A wise woman once said, ask yourself, is it hard, or is it just new? (Thanks, GG). I’ve been keeping that close since she shared it with me. Some of us don't move forward because we lack support. Not having people in our corner to root for us or encourage us to try can make is retreat into self-sabotage and silence even more—I get that. And, there has to come a time that we invest in ourselves in the way we want others to. I forfeited a lot before deciding to choose myself and this path. Believing I could create the life I wanted wasn’t this whimsical walk in a park. It was ridden with grief some days, being lost at every turn and wanting to go back on my word. Keeping myself and my dreams in a box because no one was in my corner made me feel defeated and unhappy. I let myself sit with those feelings, and then I kept pushing.

I had to learn to hold myself. I wanted to learn how to find comfort and sacredness in self-belief.

It wasn't until I decided to take myself by the hand and shamelessly walk through the ebbs and flows—that I started to understand how precious it is to have self-choosing in my back pocket at all times.

I've come to know that external support is a bonus to self-belief. Internal validation is something we have to learn to give ourselves. I am grateful to have discovered clarity around this. I can and will always be my biggest advocate. And when I think about it, that feels like a huge relief. As someone who spent years waiting for others to see me, finally deciding to see myself changed the game. It's opened me up to a whole new world of possibilities.

I looked at some of my old writings and came across this:

Reflect on the things that offer clarity in your life. Make a habit out of celebrating the small moments in healing, gratitude, and growth. I am committed to celebrating how far I've come—celebrating the often overlooked things. Becoming clearer about my worth, with or without support, has shifted my narrative. The practice of self-celebration is a radical act of acceptance and self-love. When we mess up or misstep on our path to self-validation, it's easy to dwell there and forget that we've reached a moment of success just by being able to cheer ourselves on. Let's lean into those small and celebratory moments more often. Remember that there is a lesson in each stumble. Every heartbreak and disappointment offers us a chance to be gracious to ourselves.

As we learn and grow together, my hope for everyone reading this is to celebrate the mini-moments and wins, even when you have to do it alone. Something extraordinary about gratitude is choosing to see the light even when darkness looms, even when we are alone waiting for the storms or uncertainty to pass. Sometimes the only person we can count on at the moment is ourselves. That, too, is a beautiful gift of self-trust.

Community Questions (leave a comment):

1. What mini-moments are you celebrating?

2. What is self-trust teaching you?

3. What feels hard about self-belief this season?

4. Where did you learn to shrink yourself and bite your tongue?

5. How are you unlearning that you aren’t enough?