Grief is intense. And sneaky. And complex. My dad passed on Valentine’s Day this year and even after living through the loss of my mom at the age of 5, my stepmom, a cousin, all my grandparents... there is nothing that could have prepared me for this experience. My daddy was always there when the others left, and now he’s gone. The pain I feel is full of gratitude, not for his passing, but for him... his being and the depth of his love for me and my younger sister. My gratitude is overwhelming at times. I have been blessed beyond understanding.
I heard someone say once that the reason we struggle in our grief is because we are looking for our loved ones where they WERE instead of finding them where they ARE. The connection I have to my dad is alive and shows up in so many magical ways. It soothes me. But the human part of me that wishes I could have one more moment with him is still very real. And to be honest, I don’t expect that to change. I think it’s part of what we signed up for. To feel it all. To experience the deep contrast in this world of matter. But maybe we can learn to look on death as a sweet transition into something beautiful... absent of the darkness, the heaviness we experience while we are here.
I am sorry for your loss, and grateful for the love you experienced. Prayers for peace for you and your family Alex.
I’ve been following your journey for a while now. It’s so wild how aligned our lives are. I just lost my grandma, my favorite person, three weeks ago. I’ve never been this close to death before. Some days it feels unreal, while other days it feels entirely too real, heavy and heartbreaking. No words ever feel like the “right” words. Without her I feel lost. And as you said, no one else’s world stops like it has for you. Your experience has always helped through the darkest times. I think this time will be no different. I hope you lean into love, community, faith and joy. I hope each day is a little brighter and a lot lighter. Obviously we don’t know each other, but I have so much love for you Alex and wish nothing but the best. The world is better with you in it.
Bless you. I am 'poppy' to my grandchildren ... reading your thoughts through that lens was touching ... but mostly I see your heart and love for the grandfather who made such a difference in your life. Thank you for openly sharing that.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Alex! The pain of missing someone and seeing how much it hurts others that they’re gone is an honor to them and how special they were for sure (silver lining-wise. Doesn’t make it any easier of course).
My mom died last Friday. We were in ICU and I was to make the decisions for the path of her passing.
As she slowly left us, and family trickled in... it filled me with gratitude to see how hurt and pained everyone was that she was leaving us.
I dunno if that sounds strange... it beats being a person in life who’s passing, and you call to tell others and they’re either like “oh, okay.” Or just don’t try to rush to their side period, ya know?
It was endearing. Hearing my cousin who I never hear cry sniffle and having him hold my hand nearly the entire time without saying a word is one of my boldest memories of that day as she passed.
Everyone grieves different, of course. Everyone has different experiences with their loved ones!
I just found it so interesting that you wrote an honest post about the gratitude in grief and that was literally the first list and thing I did PERIOD after my mom passed.
My grieving process is COMPLETELY different than yours, of course, but the correlation couldn’t be ignored for me.
I’ve been documenting this transition of losing my mom and my role as her full-time caregiver for almost 8 years since it happened... it’s been interesting.
I’m sending you condolences, a big hug, and the sweetest thoughts and warm love to you and your entire family affected by this tremendous loss. ♥️
If I may add an addendum to my previous comment. Regarding having/finding/seeking gratitude for the passing of a loved one: a Buddhist perspective suggests that the passing of a loved one offers survivors the conditions and opportunity to become stronger and wiser, and to actualize their potential that may not have been possible while the loved one was a physical presence…
My deepest condolences Alex. We cannot question some things. Just know poppy is with you wherever you are. He sees you. I to know grief oh so well, as I have lossed both my father and grandmother within the last 6 years. Your an amazing being and lineage of Poppy. I pray you find peace, when the time is right for you. Continue to be Great and know he is with you always. More love, more life and blessings to you and your family. ❤️🙏🏾💪🏿
This is an incredible loss, and my sincerest condolences to you and your family, Alex. Thank you for sharing such a tender moment with your community, not only in lighter and more joyful moments, but also in times you’re experiencing deep sadness and grief. As someone who also has a Poppy that’s on a bit of a cognitive decline, I so appreciate your openness around loss and being in a state of confusion. As the grief will come in waves, I pray you feel a glimmer of light each day your Poppy crosses your mind; that all the memories continue to flood you and fill your home. You’re a magnificent descendant of his, you will never forget. You have incredible support here and I know in your immediate sphere. We’re here listening and reading, take your time and do what feels good for your soul.
Oh Alex. I have a lot of these same questions and intense emotions myself - my mom passed away a month ago and like you, I thought she would live forever. I think the most shocking part is I spoke to her the night before and she died the following morning. I just found out the cause of her death and it broke me even more than the moment I found out she died. I'm sending you love and light as you navigate this difficult journey of grief.
The physical lose is always there. Yet it is true that someone you love is always with you in your thoughts,words and memories. Oh the memories are so special and tender. You will remember them in so many ways, sights and sounds and smells. You will always here them in your head. Don't be afraid to speak back ,you know what their response will be. Gratitude comes from having them in your life to begin with. Peace.
I am so sorry for your loss, Alex. Holding you close as you begin this new grief journey. I would love to send you something that helped me on our grief journey if you are open to it. Message me at @tvclips on IG.
I'm sending you and your family so much love and light...you're memories that you shared about your time with your Poppy so beautiful.
I think finding gratitude in death is remembering their life, their love and how they made you feel...not letting these beautiful memories fade and keeping them alive in your mind and heart.
Grief is intense. And sneaky. And complex. My dad passed on Valentine’s Day this year and even after living through the loss of my mom at the age of 5, my stepmom, a cousin, all my grandparents... there is nothing that could have prepared me for this experience. My daddy was always there when the others left, and now he’s gone. The pain I feel is full of gratitude, not for his passing, but for him... his being and the depth of his love for me and my younger sister. My gratitude is overwhelming at times. I have been blessed beyond understanding.
I heard someone say once that the reason we struggle in our grief is because we are looking for our loved ones where they WERE instead of finding them where they ARE. The connection I have to my dad is alive and shows up in so many magical ways. It soothes me. But the human part of me that wishes I could have one more moment with him is still very real. And to be honest, I don’t expect that to change. I think it’s part of what we signed up for. To feel it all. To experience the deep contrast in this world of matter. But maybe we can learn to look on death as a sweet transition into something beautiful... absent of the darkness, the heaviness we experience while we are here.
I am sorry for your loss, and grateful for the love you experienced. Prayers for peace for you and your family Alex.
I’ve been following your journey for a while now. It’s so wild how aligned our lives are. I just lost my grandma, my favorite person, three weeks ago. I’ve never been this close to death before. Some days it feels unreal, while other days it feels entirely too real, heavy and heartbreaking. No words ever feel like the “right” words. Without her I feel lost. And as you said, no one else’s world stops like it has for you. Your experience has always helped through the darkest times. I think this time will be no different. I hope you lean into love, community, faith and joy. I hope each day is a little brighter and a lot lighter. Obviously we don’t know each other, but I have so much love for you Alex and wish nothing but the best. The world is better with you in it.
Bless you. I am 'poppy' to my grandchildren ... reading your thoughts through that lens was touching ... but mostly I see your heart and love for the grandfather who made such a difference in your life. Thank you for openly sharing that.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Alex! The pain of missing someone and seeing how much it hurts others that they’re gone is an honor to them and how special they were for sure (silver lining-wise. Doesn’t make it any easier of course).
My mom died last Friday. We were in ICU and I was to make the decisions for the path of her passing.
As she slowly left us, and family trickled in... it filled me with gratitude to see how hurt and pained everyone was that she was leaving us.
I dunno if that sounds strange... it beats being a person in life who’s passing, and you call to tell others and they’re either like “oh, okay.” Or just don’t try to rush to their side period, ya know?
It was endearing. Hearing my cousin who I never hear cry sniffle and having him hold my hand nearly the entire time without saying a word is one of my boldest memories of that day as she passed.
Everyone grieves different, of course. Everyone has different experiences with their loved ones!
I just found it so interesting that you wrote an honest post about the gratitude in grief and that was literally the first list and thing I did PERIOD after my mom passed.
My grieving process is COMPLETELY different than yours, of course, but the correlation couldn’t be ignored for me.
I’ve been documenting this transition of losing my mom and my role as her full-time caregiver for almost 8 years since it happened... it’s been interesting.
I’m sending you condolences, a big hug, and the sweetest thoughts and warm love to you and your entire family affected by this tremendous loss. ♥️
If I may add an addendum to my previous comment. Regarding having/finding/seeking gratitude for the passing of a loved one: a Buddhist perspective suggests that the passing of a loved one offers survivors the conditions and opportunity to become stronger and wiser, and to actualize their potential that may not have been possible while the loved one was a physical presence…
My deepest condolences Alex. We cannot question some things. Just know poppy is with you wherever you are. He sees you. I to know grief oh so well, as I have lossed both my father and grandmother within the last 6 years. Your an amazing being and lineage of Poppy. I pray you find peace, when the time is right for you. Continue to be Great and know he is with you always. More love, more life and blessings to you and your family. ❤️🙏🏾💪🏿
This is an incredible loss, and my sincerest condolences to you and your family, Alex. Thank you for sharing such a tender moment with your community, not only in lighter and more joyful moments, but also in times you’re experiencing deep sadness and grief. As someone who also has a Poppy that’s on a bit of a cognitive decline, I so appreciate your openness around loss and being in a state of confusion. As the grief will come in waves, I pray you feel a glimmer of light each day your Poppy crosses your mind; that all the memories continue to flood you and fill your home. You’re a magnificent descendant of his, you will never forget. You have incredible support here and I know in your immediate sphere. We’re here listening and reading, take your time and do what feels good for your soul.
So sorry. Eventually you might be grateful for what he gave you and what you shared when he was alive.
Condolences, Alex. It's hard.
Went through something like this as well this year. It’s really painful but you just learn to dance with the pain as it never really goes away. ❤️
Oh Alex. I have a lot of these same questions and intense emotions myself - my mom passed away a month ago and like you, I thought she would live forever. I think the most shocking part is I spoke to her the night before and she died the following morning. I just found out the cause of her death and it broke me even more than the moment I found out she died. I'm sending you love and light as you navigate this difficult journey of grief.
The physical lose is always there. Yet it is true that someone you love is always with you in your thoughts,words and memories. Oh the memories are so special and tender. You will remember them in so many ways, sights and sounds and smells. You will always here them in your head. Don't be afraid to speak back ,you know what their response will be. Gratitude comes from having them in your life to begin with. Peace.
I am so sorry for your loss, Alex. Holding you close as you begin this new grief journey. I would love to send you something that helped me on our grief journey if you are open to it. Message me at @tvclips on IG.
I am sorry for your loss. Praying for comfort for you and your family during this time🙏🏾🕊
I'm sending you and your family so much love and light...you're memories that you shared about your time with your Poppy so beautiful.
I think finding gratitude in death is remembering their life, their love and how they made you feel...not letting these beautiful memories fade and keeping them alive in your mind and heart.
I’m sorry for your loss Alex